Forget Paris

Paris-The City of Love, that is where it all began for Mickey (Billy Crystal) and Ellen (Debra Winger). The movie started off with their married friends waiting for them to arrive for dinner, and while waiting, each couple that arrives at the restaurant starts sharing their wonderful and adventurous love story. To be honest, before watching this movie I thought once someone has already found their significant other, everything would be okay, you would not feel lonely, you would have a happier life now that you have your other half to share their whole life with (this is what you would hear from anyone that is single, for example, moi).However, my perception was short lived after watching this movie, as the saying goes, “It takes two to tango”. Love is not all chocolates, roses, butterflies and sweet stuffs all the time. It is a journey, lifelong learning on how to adapt with your partner, to compromise, to tolerate, and to accept their shenanigans.

            Love is a about choice. You would not want to jump into a relationship just because you feel lonely. These temporary states of flux would push us to have a companionship, then after getting into one, we would soon regret it. In the movie, the spark between Mickey and Ellen ignited when they were in Paris, one thing lead to another and they were hopelessly in love with each other. Initially, it seemed like they needed each other’s presences. When Mickey left Paris, and they were doing long distance relationship, Mickey could not bear it. He was frustrated, he was miserable, and he starts displacing his anger towards the people around him. Then Ellen shows up at his doorstep and agreed to marry him. Further into the movie, we witness that, they both have different goals in their lives, she was not happy when he was and vice versa. Then in one of the scenes where Ellen actually mentioned to her friend that maybe she just started this relationship because she felt lonely, and was is it because of the rebound she had? However, as the movie progressed we knew that they did not “need” each other, but they “chose” to be with each other.

            Love is about understanding and empowering. Understanding is one of the most powerful weapons a couple could have in their battle to keep them alive. In the movie, the most prominent conflict Mickey and Ellen had was not being able to spend time together as a married couple, because of their jobs. Mickey left his job to become a car salesman just to make Ellen happy, but deep down, he was not happy at all, but on the other hand, Ellen was feeling wonderful with what she had, and vice versa. We can see how each other’s goal is not fulfilled. Good relationships supposed to make the individuals in it to flourish into something better, to give that extra nudge to propel you to greater heights, but this is not the case for both of them at the beginning. Ellen did not support Mickey’s goals and neither did Mickey on Ellen’s wish to get the job which required her to move to another different country. Nonetheless, as most of the romance movies, they both came to a common ground and compromised on each other’s dreams and ambitions.

            All in all, any type of relationships takes a great deal amount of work, I am not saying like it is a bad thing, I am saying that, if we want a relationship to go as how someone would want it to be, we have to work for it. Although the final scene of the movie was cliché, where Mickey realizes that Ellen is worth it, after a few seconds of pondering and gazing at the saxophone, he realized that Ellen is worth all the trouble and he wanted to go back to her to make things work. Relationship should be this way, where if something is broken, you do not throw it away, you fix it.